With No Expectations Come No Disappointments

Adelina Vasile
4 min readJan 9, 2021

When others make you suffer, you’re still the one who has the remedy

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Do what you said you’re going to do” was the refrain of my childhood.

My dad, in particular, insisted on educating me by the “man of his word” principle.

He used to say that when you stand by your promises, people value you. It’s a quality that will make you stand out.

And so, I grew up with a strong sense of following through with my promises. It felt natural.

What my dad forgot to tell me, however, was that most people don’t follow through.

D’oh, I guess I should have asked myself earlier why would others value me for doing what I promised. Obviously, because it’s such a rare thing.

Anyway, the point is that I became this person who wouldn’t let people down AND who wrongly expected the same from others.

I’ve been waiting for you for half an hour already, and you’re telling me you’re not coming? What if I hadn’t called you? Would you have even had the decency to tell me you’re not coming anymore?!!!!

You said you’ll help me with… What? Oh… I see… I’m sorry to hear. No, but… Yeah, OK, I get it…

Heeey, remember me? No? That’s strange… Well, we met last year during that conference when I helped you with… Still not remembering?

These are just a few of the dialogues going on in my life as I grew up.

People would make me suffer on countless occasions. Or so I thought.

Thirty years later, it became clear to me that it wasn’t them, but me.

Most of the people who made me suffer didn’t even want to do it.

Indeed, they didn’t care that I was a collateral victim. Yet, it’s not like they did it on purpose.

Today, instead of saying that people made me suffer, I prefer to say that I suffered in my relationships with others.

And it was because I had too many expectations.

When you have no expectations whatsoever, you don’t have disappointments either.

What’s more, all the good things that happen when you don’t have any expectations seem to…

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Adelina Vasile

Mother, educator, journalist, copywriter. I write about the things I need to learn myself.