Why Moms Should Stop Fooling Themselves About the False Stay-at-Home Choice and What They Can Do Instead

Look at the real choice.

Adelina Vasile
6 min readAug 25, 2022


Vectorial image of a brunette woman with messy hair, red headband, red lips and a blue tank top on a yellow background.
Source: Pixabay.com

I’m back, but I’m not sure if I’m really back. Turns out it’s not my choice anymore.

Having choices feels liberating. Except when they’re not real choices.

When you’re forced to decide between being a stay-at-home mom and returning to work yet none of it feels right, is that still a choice?

I’ve been working full-time ever since I was 20. At one point, I became a freelancer and started to work from home. Or literally from anywhere.

So, almost a decade into my writing career, I felt confident enough to have children knowing I won’t jeopardize my previous hard work in any way. Only I didn’t know.

Enter freelance parenting

I was sure I could rock it as a freelance writer who worked from home and stayed home with my child.

I was going to be a freelance parent. I was just a fool.

Nothing can prepare us for parenting. With children, you can never know what you’re going to get. And if there’s one thing parents-to-be desperately need to know, is that they should put aside any kind of expectation.

Have hope? Yes. Maybe even some faith. But expectations? Hell, no.

I had my baby earlier than expected and quite suddenly, leading to us staying in the hospital longer.

I came back with postpartum depression raging in my head (without even knowing it). And still had an all-time favorite client active.

The day I realized I missed my turnaround date (for the first time in my life), all because I couldn’t even tell what day it was, I had to officially let go of that last client too.

Farewell freelance parenting

For a while, I was content not working. I wasn’t sleeping either, which meant it made sense not to work-work.

Then I wasn’t. I looked for alternatives. And I thought I found them. Almost four years into motherhood, I still feel like I don’t have real choices in many aspects. So, I wonder…



Adelina Vasile

Mother, educator, journalist, copywriter. I write about the things I need to learn myself. Check my Substack here >> https://undressingcopy.substack.com/