When You Watch Your Child Sleeping
And you fight the guilt that awakens inside of you
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Get up, get up, get up, you tell yourself through the nightly drag.
But you’re too tired and your body aches.
Your body and your heart.
Everything aches after a long day with a bit too much chaos, a bit too much chocolate, and a bit too much yelling.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. What an annoying clock.
You kiss their sleepy, sweaty little forehead and hear the clock tick-tock.
Then, a thought crosses your mind.
It’s not just another day that passed. Another year almost turned into dust.
I won’t let you think what you’re about to think.
Dear parent who tried your best,
I know you feel overwhelmed and tired like a punching bag.
Like you’re failing again and again. You make plans and you screw them like a champ.
But you care.
That’s why you’re still awake, kissing this sleepy, sweaty little forehead. And thinking about the many ways you f***ed up today.
Planning how to do it less tomorrow.
So, how about if, for a brief moment, you pause and think of all the things you got right?
Today, yesterday, and throughout the entire year.
You had moments you would have screamed but you held your breath.
Sleepless nights with fever and cough that you left behind, eventually running happily at the park.
And fireworks in your head when out of the blue they told you “Thank you” or “I love you”.
You see how everything isn’t as bad as it seems?
