When We Try So Hard To Be Good Parents That We Screw Up Our Children

Almost irreparably.

Adelina Vasile
5 min readMar 11, 2022


Picture of baby elephant trying to drink water from a river, with his mother standing right behind him, as if pushing him towards the water.
Photo from Pixabay

“Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first.” — Matthew Jacobson

Do you believe in your children? Do you, really?

If you do, why do you want to give them everything? Why do you want them never to lack anything, always be happy, and have no worries other than playing and learning?

Why do you tell yourself that life begins when you step out of your comfort zone, all while doing everything you can to keep your children in a permanent comfort zone?

You want to be a good parent

And expect your child to reflect how good of a parent you are.

But what is a good parent, anyway? What do the children of good parents look like?

Your child’s happiness is no reflection of your abilities as a parent.

It isn’t, because children don’t need to be happy all the time. If anything, they need to be allowed to experience the full range of emotions.



Adelina Vasile

Mother, educator, journalist, copywriter. I write about the things I need to learn myself.