The Things You Lose When You Look Down at Your Child

And how to make up for it in under 5 minutes a day

Source: Pexels

It Takes Two to Tango and Two to Connect

I’ve been a parenting writer long before I had my child. (I know, funny, right?) In any case, I’ve been reading lots of parenting and childcare education books and blogs, and they were all preaching the wonders of connecting with the child.

Parents Need This Connection Just As Much as Children Do

Just to be clear, my son didn’t miraculously decide to cooperate with me right then and there. Yet, our brief connection took an unexpected turn because it allowed me to connect with him and see my son for what he was in the moment.

  1. He made me smile — I could have laughed, too, since he was so funny in his seriousness, but I felt I should refrain from doing so;
  2. He made me sympathize with him and start a dialogue.

You, Too, Can Connect With Your Tot in Under 5 Minutes

I know you’re stressed, often in a hurry, and more often than you want, you’re feeling resentful because you need to make efforts to make the relationship with your child work. But connecting with the child can really take under 5 minutes, and it is worth its weight in gold. You could try to:

  1. Look him in the eyes when he comes to you excited about something he did;
  2. Deliberately show the child that you’re all ears by putting away your smartphone or laptop or whatever — that, of course, if you’re not quite during your working hours and in the middle of a call with your boss;
  3. Slip in some crazy mismatched dancing socks when he expects it the least, with a funny song and some funny moves — don’t worry, your child is your biggest fan, not a critic (and if he crosses his hands in a sign of “I’m serious and we’re not doing this”, you can always imitate him and ask him “Oh, is this your newest dance move? I’m lovin’ it!”);
  4. Chase him around the house and be the one who doesn’t get to catch him — you could and should theatrically fall right when you’re about to get your hands on him;
  5. Take out an old photo album — children love to see pictures of their smallest versions, and you, too, could use remembering their cheeky, toothless smiles from once upon a time;
  6. Smile when he enters the room and greet him with excitement — at least once a day, even when you don’t necessarily feel that excitement (your brain can’t tell the difference and will soon start feeling the excitement);
  7. Sing instead of yell — you will inevitably feel the need to raise your voice at some point, so you might as well try your opera singer voice and watch for the reaction you’re going to get;
  8. Make up silly rhymes if you’re good with words — children don’t just love a good rhyme, but they also experience enormous benefits from listening to rhymes.
  9. Use affectionate names — you can use as many as you’d like and see what the child resonates with; I call my son by many different food names because he loves food — he’s my flavored strawberry dipped in chocolate, my juicy, sticky chicken wing, my sweet and sour cherry pie, my soft and fluffy dinner roll, and so on).

We Could All Use a Bit More Closeness

As I was once playing with my son on the floor, I experimented with staying there and looking at everyone around us from that level. I simply observed what a small child sees and how always looking up for adults makes him feel. If giants surrounded you, you probably wouldn’t feel too comfortable either.

Mother, writer, thinker. Striving to be the change I want to see in the world.

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