So true, Kristina! My dirty little secret to attuning more quickly is to remind myself that it's not about me. I found that I tend to react to my husband's reactions. If he's upset, I get upset because I don't like the tension I'm feeling, and it all becomes about me, me, me. If I manage to put a hold on it and tell myself - ok, you're upset because he's upset, why don't you try and genuinely find out what makes him upset, and how can you help him? - I then quickly attune with my partner. I also have the ability and the clarity to understand his feelings and reason with him when I am no longer focused on how I feel in the moment. And by the time we finish our talk, and he's feeling better, I realize that I'm feeling better too. If I don't attune with him, not only that I can't make things work, but I also end up feeling miserable and act in ways that will only lead to even more tension. Every. Single. Time. Many thanks for this valuable reminder!

Mother, writer, thinker. Striving to be the change I want to see in the world.