Will Your Second Child Be A Friend For Life?

I wonder how multiplying love and worry while dividing every other resource would help a first-born…

Adelina Vasile


Photo by Kin Li on Unsplash

I’m the little sis. The sibling. The friend for life as they call me. I’m also a woman in her thirties. A first-time parent. One intending to stay that way. My sister is another woman in her thirties, who was barely scratching her head looking at the two pink lines on a pregnancy test right about the time I was already holding my newborn in my arms. Between then and now, she’s become a second-time parent because… she wanted to give her first-born a… friend for life.

I love my sister to pieces. But it breaks me to pieces knowing that she has chosen to live over 1000km away from me. This isn’t to make her feel guilty that she’s built herself a life somewhere else. Or that I haven’t gotten to touch my two nephews ever in my life, and only saw them in pictures. (pandemic, I’m looking at you).

This is just an I-don’t-get-it…

I don’t get how people would think that making more children is the solution to making their firstborn feel more loved for longer. Like, for the rest of his life.

Love doesn’t divide but multiplies when you have a second child. I’ve heard it. I couldn’t tell, I just need to take their word for it. But what about everything else? It seems to me that everything else divides once you have two children:

  • The breasts available to feed them;
  • The arms available to hug them tight;
  • The one-on-one time;
  • The good-night-my-baby cuddles and snuggles time;
  • The money you spend on them;
  • The space underneath your shelter you’re giving them;
  • The places you can take them to;
  • All of the physical you.

I wonder, is multiplying love the solution to everything that divides?

Oh, I’m sorry, I think I’ve forgotten something. I may not have been completely fair when I said that love is the only one that multiplies. Worry multiplies too. That worry that keeps you awake at night. Which reminds me, another thing that divides is the time you get to…



Adelina Vasile

Mother, educator, journalist, copywriter. I write about the things I need to learn myself.