THE MOUTHS OF BABES

On Being Eaten by a Dog and the Questions Kids Might Have

That’s right, eaten. Completely.

Adelina Vasile
2 min readMar 13, 2022

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Profile photo of an australian shepherd with his mouth open
Photo from Pixabay

Walking through the neighborhood with grandpa, Matthew is properly equipped with a long willow branch.

It’s his self-defense weapon, just in case they encounter an unfriendly dog. That rarely happens because he thinks all dogs are friendly — so far.

One day, as they drag their feet on the sidewalk, a dog let loosen from one of the nearby houses comes running at them.

He’s friendly and playful, but the moment he sees the willow branch, he steps away.

-Phew, what a luck that it was a friendly dog, says Matthew.

-Why is that? asks grandpa, trying to see what’s going on in his little head.

-If it were a bad dog, it would have eaten us both, replies Matthew, dangling his branch as if exercising the self-defense moves.

-Who do you think would have been eaten first?

-Me, of course. I’m the smallest, and I was closest to him. Would you have let him, if he tried? asks Matthew, concerned.

-Absolutely not! I would have kicked his ass in an instant, says grandpa.

-Good. Just so you know, if he tried to eat you first, I would have kicked his ass too, adds Matthew.

After giving it a few extra seconds of thinking, he pops the question.

-But do you think if he ate me first, would he still need to eat you afterward?

© Adelina Vasile

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Adelina Vasile

Mother, educator, journalist, copywriter. I write about the things I need to learn myself.