Influence is the biggest (and only) power we have over anyone in our lives. Control is an illusion. So, when we see things we don't like, the only thing that might work is to be the change we want to see. If our partner is blind to the change we represent, we can either choose to accept it (without trying to fix them) or walk away. It's amazing how many people insist on trying to fix others. Not to accept, not to leave them, just burning themselves in the pointless attempt of changing their partners.