I can't imagine what it's like growing up thinking your parents don't like you... I admire your strength in working to repair all that psychological damage!
I think many parents fail to separate the child from their behavior, saying they don't like them when, in fact, it's their behavior that upsets or triggers.
I try hard to be mindful about it so every time my son misbehaves I make it clear that I am upset by what he did, using the exact words "your behavior is....".
I see him asking if I still love him when we're arguing, and so I have to remind him that love is something I feel for him all the time, no matter what, yet loving him doesn't make acceptable what he did.
Children test us in every possible way and walking this fine line is really difficult.