I always thought that people who cheat would either feel guilty about it and start acting better within their long-term relationship, or, quite the opposite, start acting worse, trying to pick up fights and making their partner look like the villain. But "disavowing the actions of his affair" by associating himself with kindness and care it's an entirely new and interesting angle! I'm sorry you had to go through this, yet at the same time, I find genuinely admirable the clarity you've shown while analyzing your husband's mysterious changes!