Holiday Depression — Where Does the Pain Come From?

“Sometimes all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart. “— William C. Hannan

Adelina Vasile

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Photo by Victoria Volkova on Unsplash

It’s beginning to look a lot like holidays.

You sigh and would rather call them shittydays. Everywhere you look, people are happy or at least pretend to be. You’re tempted to pretend too, but hardly find the energy for it. You can’t even admit to your loved ones that you’re unhappy around the holidays, because what would they think of you?

Perhaps they would say that they understand you and have felt the same at some point.

Many people deal with increased anxiety and depression this time of the year.

It’s not just the neverending pandemic that turned our lives upside down. The shorter days and the longer nights. The cold or the darkness.

It’s all these, and then, there’s more.

You’re feeling colorblind, and everyone is smiling and telling you how colorful the world is.

“Depression is being colorblind and constantly told how colorful the world is.” — Atticus

Why can’t you see the colors everyone is talking about?

A distorted reality is playing tricks on your mind

Christmas time is show-off time.

When you turn on the T.V., it’s like you’re watching a toothpaste ad on repeat. They’re all grinning. They’re all gathering in large families, around tables that overflow with food.

If you turn off the T.V., you might hear your neighbors laughing out loud.

If you pick up your phone, you’ll see Facebook and Instagram perfect pictures with families sitting around perfect Christmas trees.

It’s almost impossible to remind yourself about the inconspicuous sadness behind all those happy pictures.

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Adelina Vasile

Mother, educator, journalist, copywriter. I write about the things I need to learn myself.