Attachment is essential to our survival. A baby's most important task is to form a secure attachment with a reliable, loving caregiver. The problem appears when we don't get to form a healthy attachment in our childhood. That's when we end up in toxic relationships and can't seem to run away from the persons who harm us. Because we didn't benefit from healthy attachment as children, we can't recognize unhealthy attachment as adults. Our lack of early healthy attachment also caused all those low selfs you mentioned, low self - esteem, worth, belief, regard etc. And so, it's hard to say make the change because you love yourself when you grew up not feeling loved and you hardly know what it's like to be loved by others, let alone to love yourself :(